questions and prayers

i keep a notebook.  jeff would laugh at that statement because i have many, many notebooks and i'm always writing stuff down.

anyway....

i keep a notebook of prayers.  i write out my prayers at times.  it helps me to focus.  i have a hard time staying focused.

i wanted to share what i wrote in the last few days.  it is private, but needs to be public.  needs to be shared.

6/27/15
Father God,
my heart is grieving.  You led this country for so long.  at one time nearly everyone acknowledged that fact.  now.....this is what we have.  i am sad, but hopeful.  because i know whose hands i am held in.  i know who i belong to.  and it's not the gods of this world.  help me, Lord, to speak the truth.  to love.  to be a light in the world and not celebrate the dark.  thank you Lord.

6/28/15
Father,
i'm upset this morning.  it would be so easy to just disregard You and Your words and follow the rest of the world; be a part of the big party.  but what would i gain?  nothing.

following You Lord brings me peace and joy unspeakable.  it is a difficult road at times, filled with boulders and pitfalls. there are times that the world can make me feel wrong and defeated, and even other christians can make me feel wrong and defeated.

these are the words they banter around
"do not judge"  "do not be a stumbling block"  " just love"  "love your neighbor"

what do these things mean?

can i judge what is sin based on what i know is truth from scripture?
is my silence a stumbling block when i don't tell others the gospel message of sin-repentance-and forgiveness?
or is it a stumbling block when i do tell them?

love your neighbor.  love others.  love God.

i love You Lord with all of my heart, all of my soul, and all of my mind.
i see You God as a most loving parent.  You give me good things.  You teach me and mold me through your words and your Holy Spirit living inside me.  You remind me of my sins and my need to repent and be forgiven.  each day, each minute, i am reminded that i live to glorify You alone.

so if i am to reflect Your love, Lord to others, to the world, how does that look?
shouldn't it look the same as i described above?

the world and a big part of my christian brothers and sisters are promoting a love that i have not seen in scripture.  they are promoting a love that has no strings attached.  a love that doesn't lead anyone to the pathway of eternal life.

are we just supposed to tell the world that Your love is for everyone and Your grace is for us all and then leave it at that?  these are absolutely true statements, but is that where i'm supposed to stop?

am i not supposed to mention that the world needs a savior?  am i not supposed to tell them why we need a savior?  am i not supposed to mention  sin because that would be judging?  what constitutes sin?  do you decide or do we decide.  or do we let our earthly rulers decide it for us?

Lord, help me be strong enough and loving enough to speak the truth that the world needs to hear.
Heavenly Father please help me to not give my neighbors a false sense of eternal security.  help me to be able to disagree with others worldviews and not be angry.  help me to always remember that we are all made in Your image.  help me to remember that your adversary, satan, roams this earth seeking to destroy.  and it starts the moment we are conceived.  help me to lead my family alongside my husband to protect them and to humbly teach them Your ways only and to always lead them in the truth.
amen.